What is "the dickens", anyway?
Whatever it is, my body hurts like it.
I've been pleasantly surprised at how well my body has done, because I was just sure my body would be awful. I knew I'd be violently ill the whole time, and probably end up on bed rest or something, because my body is just like that. My monthly enemy always made me so sick and vomitous...so I figured pregnancy would be crazy. Thankfully, it's been much more manageable than I expected! Yes, I hurt. My back isn't faring so well, and I've been wearing a super-attractive back brace under my already too-tight clothes. My back and legs seize up so painfully, and I literally can't walk. My sciatic is majorly upset, and is shooting death rays through my crazy-crampy legs. I've had some spotting issues, but thankfully, non-threatening to the baby. And swelling. Oh dear! I didn't realize how swollen I've become until I tried putting on my wedding ring.
I haven't worn it in months, you know, just to be safe. However, we were going out the night before New Year's Eve to a fancy-pants restaurant, and I wanted to look all bling-y and, you know, wear my ice. As I was gracefully shoving it over my knuckle, I had the thought "I shouldn't do this..." but by then it was too late, because the ring had already slipped right into place. And then, right before my eyes, my finger swelled up, and enveloped a bit of the ring. It was big and blue/purple and really bad news. So I tried to keep calm, breathe, say a prayer, and get the darn thing off! I ran it under cold water - no luck. I slathered baby oil on it - still no luck. Then Vaseline, then crying, then calling in Mr. Tee, then ice and lots and lots of pulling, yanking and gnashing of teeth. Still no luck with the ring, but we were successful in cutting up and bruising my finger, so you know, there's that. The whole time, I was having horrible visions of having to go into the E.R. to have the ring cut off. I knew that was an option, because Mr. Tee works at a nearby hospital and a few months ago, and told me that he had to purchase a ring cutter for the E.R. I scoffed at the idea then, but I wasn't scoffing now. I was so sad to think we would have to defile the symbol of our undying love and devotion to each other! Also, I really didn't want to miss our reservation. We hadn't been on a date in months...I was really looking forward to this. It's hard to flatter a big pregnant body, and I looked pretty good that night, even if I didn't get a chance to finish my eye makeup. I was not about to miss my expensive dinner! So anyhow, Mr. Tee looked at me and said the dreaded words
"We are going to have to cut it off".
Much crying ensued while we raced around the house getting a diaper bag ready for Little Tee, so we could unexpectedly drop her off at a friend's house (thanks again Liz...and thanks for not judging me for my crazy drama!). We grabbed an ice pack for my finger, Mr. Tee quickly changed out of his scrubs into a nice outfit (guys can get ready so fast!), and we were out the door. Once Little Tee was dropped off, we headed out to the hospital. Mr. Tee didn't know anyone at the front desk, and they acted as if we were just going to sit there for the night while other people went back first...apparently a blue/purple fat finger isn't high on the list of priorities, and our fancy dinner reservations didn't matter to them either, I'm sure. So Mr. Tee took his work I.D. badge, went through the back door, and found the nurses that he knows. They took me back, sliced off my little sparkler, we paid through the teeth for our copay, and we were off! It sure pays to know people in the E.R.! We were only 20 minutes late for dinner (we called and let them know). We went to Roy's, btw, and it was "eh". I know you were wondering. We decided to skip our movie for the night, but by that point, I was pooped.
So there you have it, my friends. Baby will be here soon, I (hopefully) won't be so puffy for too much longer, and we've gotta see if we can get the ring fixed. So much drama! We still haven't really prepared for Little Man to come, and we still can't agree on a name. Sigh. I'm sure it will all come together in the next few weeks. I guess it's going to have to come together...baby is coming whether we are ready or not!